Xenos

Loner

  Bohemian, boho, counterculturist, deviant, enfant terrible, free spirit, heretic, iconoclast, individualist, loner, lone wolf, maverick, nonconformer, freethinker; character, codger, crackpot, crank, eccentric, freak, kook, nut, oddball, screwball, weirdo, eight ball, misfit, outsider, aberrant, anomaly.

  Uh-huh.  I'm all of these.

  I was just thinking about the friends of a friend of mine.  I don't like them.

  That's not entirely true -- it's not that I don't like them, I don't like the way they are.

  There's one I do like.  He's a thirty-something punker, living his dream on the road playing in his band.  He's from NYC, & we get along OK.  Of course, we'd run into each other on the street one day & had nothing to say to one another.  It's rather odd for me to run into a New Yorker & not be able to converse easily.  But there we were, trying to think of something to talk about.  We both finally gave up & went our separate ways.  It's strange, but I don't mind it too much.  I have a theory why.

  You've heard of the Seattle Freeze.  The Urban Dictionary begins explaining it this way:

  It's not that people here are 
  unfriendly, they will hold the 
  door for you and wave you into 
  traffic and stuff like that,  
  it's that everything is  
  maddeningly impersonal. The  
  attitude is:  "Have a nice day, 
  somewhere else".

  Many also -- & it doesn't matter whether they're from here or elsewhere -- believe they're cooler-smarter-hipper & better looking, than you.  Where many have taught us that each & every one of us is the center of our own universes, people here believe their universe is the only universe that exists & everyone & everything within must conform to their ideal or you don't exist either.

  Granted, not all of the friends here in Seattle of my friend are like this, but each has developed this to some degree.  It reminds me -- to a slightly lesser degree -- of what I had experienced before I gave up & succumbed to my loner nature.  I used to befriend foreigners.  I still do, but not so much any longer.  People of other cultures often experience a great deal more of life & have read more than the average American at an early age.  I still find most foreigners more interesting than most Americans, but I was the outsider.  I was accepted into the fold only so far, allowed to join in, but only to degree closer than other Americans.

  In Japanese, there are three forms of communication.  Let's call them "Formal", "Friendly" & "Loose".  While a native of Japanese descent (although Japanese born outside Japan may be in the same boat I would be) can speak to one another in any of these forms, depending upon the relationship between them, no matter how accepted a gaijin (outsider) becomes, he or she is not allowed to speak to their friends in the "Loose" form despite the fact they would speak to the outsider in that form.

  This is only one example.  An example similar to what seems stronger in Seattle than anywhere else I've lived.  I've been disappointed & betrayed all over the country by many selfish people, but never so frequently or consistently than here.  It is sad that I have frequently had to go without work; sadder still that the one place I can usually come up with some crappy work is here in Seattle.

  My theory?  Sure.  Naturally, people have grown continually more self-centered -- even noticeably in my life time.  But specifically, I think that the isolation that Seattle has historically experienced, an isolation (perhaps) self imposed & greater than that experienced by Alaskans, has cast an aura over the region.  It permeates everything & everyone who comes here.  Some are more susceptible to it's effects, but we're all victims of it.

  In my case, it's made me grow very disinterested in interacting with others.

  Ah, well.  I guess I'll watch another movie in my single apartment.

Depopulation Plan...?!

I read a lot. I also watch a rather large number of documentaries. The subjects of which can vary greatly. Along with these subjects can often be subjects of conspiracy. Why would I concern myself with such theories when so much money & effort is exerted against those who suggest secret meetings & plans? Well, I'm not entirely stupid & can either find supporting evidence from diverse -- even legitimate -- sources or dismiss them when there simply is nothing to corroborate.

Among the conspiracy Web sites I've read & videos I've seen recently, there is frequent mention of a body of influential people who call themselves the Bilderberg Group.

Whatever the original intent of these people, the ranks of the Bilderberg Group have become made up of very wealthy individuals who wield such power as possibly choosing succeeding presidents despite a country's electoral process. Of course, this is only speculation based upon what could easily be circumstantial evidence obtained by journalists & researchers connecting "dots".

I have recently found that there is a great deal of information concerning one plan of the Bilderberg Group. This plan appears to be beneficial only to these powerful & wealthy individuals, & very detrimental to the freedom the rest of us.

This scheme is called the Bilderberg Group Depopulation Plan. This link will offer you many  Google links to at least one video on the subject, but there is reference to this plan elsewhere.

I -- & we -- can't know if this plan to reduce the Earth's population anywhere from 10-90% is true unless any one or more of us is privy to the Bilderberg Group plans. Conspiracy theory or fact, it remains that the idea exists. It isn't about money -- the members of the group are already incredibly wealthy. It's about control.

But I think I have a better plan which will not only appeal to these ultra-rich bastards desire for control, but will also perpetuate their lust for more, more, more.

What I propose is investing heavily in space. Many are likely already doing so, yet there is little investment because of the massive cost. How is exorbitant cost reduced? By mass production, naturally. A concerted effort of investment in & creation of businesses specifically aimed at making space exploitation affordable would reduce those costs as in any other business. Why should the wealthy, particularly the Bilderberg Group, want to do this? For the profits -- personal & financial of travel, resource obtainment & colonization.

Not only are there vast resources just sitting there waiting to be scooped up, we have most all the technology to get to those places, to set up colonies of all sorts & to even terraform whole planets. Having already enslaved the middle & lower classes of most every region on Earth, why the hell wouldn't the super rich want to set up plantations -- as their families have done throughout history -- all over the solar system -- or the galaxy --  when they already have countless unemployed readily available for relocation?

Clearly, a college degree is simply not a necessity for any such positions. It's true that any person placed in a position of authority or responsibility would be hand-picked to further the interests of the business owner or owners, but it is only historically recent that credit has been available to the masses (should they desire to be answerable to heartless banks) for the obtainment of credentials. Anyone with enough talent & loyalty could manage such a business. As for the workers -- who are already slaves -- need only be willing to do the job.

This way the uber-rich grow in power & wealth instead of restricting themselves to tiny regions on a single planet. Additionally, we don't have to die for you to continue living your cushy lives from our efforts.

Risk? Explain to me how the risks involved in space exploitation is any greater than starting a venture from scratch on Earth.

Finally, any member of the Bilderberg Group who feels threatened by my having written of the selfish things you continually do is perfectly welcome to offer me work. I'm very willing to get off this planet & beyond arm's reach of the likes of you.

NecroTech

Healer, Magician, Necromancer. I am these. Because I possess rare talents & arcane knowledge, I heal the ailing, I use spells to effect change, I raise the dead.

I am not alone. We are many, we wielders of powers the majority fear.

I am a computer technician.

You're asking yourself why I use these terms to describe my abilities. The correlation is clear: We make crippled computers work more smoothly; we enter bizarre runes on dark screens to make these demons of technology do our bidding; we bring back to life the very monsters which allude so many.

We who possess these talents & knowledge are highly desired by individuals & massive corporations, yet, because we hold the power to make or break, we are equally despised.

Assuming we can even get work, we are often paid very little. Can you imagine this? We live in a society wholly reliant on computer technology, & the very people who can keep a corporation sucking so much of our money for so little in return, are treated with complete disdain.

And worse, being unemployed & actively seeking employment, I find most job postings for computer technicians not only pay less than $15.00 per hour but require the skills of a mid- to high-level Administrator or Engineer.

They always want more for less.

Yet I -- even I -- can't get work.

While the numbers of unemployed continue to grow, our government's solution is to force us to work even harder at finding a job -- jobs that don't exist -- or we may not qualify for assistance. They don't care that I've been applying, for over a year & a half, for every single job for which I have any hope of qualifying. They don't care that employers in fields other than the computer technical -- if they see my resume at all due to the thousands received -- see that I have computer experience & reject me outright because they know I'll leave eventually, if a job in the computer field is offered me. They also don't care that I apply for work anywhere I find a job posting for a position which might realistically involve relocation.

And why is this? It's not that I have any great desire to continue to pursue a career in the computer technical field. I never have. I hate technology. I hate our reliance on these stupid machines operating by instructions written by stupid humans. I hate that I have talents allowing me to make them work.

I have other talents, just look at my blahgs. I can write in most any form & on most any subject. I also, somehow, manage to produce pretty pictures -- particularly a talent for producing pretty pictures in little or no light -- a talent many noted photographers don't possess. But do publishers have any interest in even giving me credit -- let alone payment -- for these talents? Oh, no. Allow Mr G Angus Fergusson to use a talent of his that he actually like? We can't have that.

So, I have often been forced to turn to my magical computer talents, to my talents in reading people & in finding solutions to satisfy a customer, or even my research abilities -- as disgusting as it is to make another more wealthy by my abilities of manipulation.

OK. So, writing & photography are also forms of manipulation, or even magic. Very true. And I can't promise I would enjoy doing these things for a living if I were lining the pockets of those who respect nothing but money. But this is a pipe dream, anyway. I'm not respected for my talents in any field.

I am a magician, yet not a successful one.

Simply Amazing

You can't get away from it. It's everywhere you look. You may try to ignore it, but it's always right there. Everything is going to hell, & those of us who care -- those of us trying to wake the rest of you up -- feel as if we're fighting a losing battle.

There are so many things wrong that there just seems so little point.

Many of us who know of the Security & Prosperity Partnership, quietly signed into law not long ago, is not meant to serve any but the super rich. It takes little imagination to realize this, once one actually becomes aware of its existence. Then, there's the war. Is it really to protect us from the "evil" extremists of the East, or is it more that some very wealthy people can grow more wealthy? Is it really better for our elected officials to openly & legally accept money from corporations than it was when those politicians had to pretend that they weren't receiving bribes?

These are just a few of the things which should be bothering us all. These -- & other recent events bother me on a daily basis. So many people are out of work, so many are losing their homes, debt is ridiculously high, yet we plod along hoping something good will happen...eventually.

The other day I had watched a couple of documentaries. The first was about the band the Doors. Sure, it was interesting, I'd enjoyed it. But there was only one thing in this doc which really struck me. At a concert, Jim Morrison had said something to the crowd which really struck me. It's certainly apathetic, clearly selfish, but profound nonetheless. Jim had said "I just wanna have my kicks before the whole shit house goes up in flames".

Nice. Maybe he'd seen the truth then, in 1969. The truth that we cannot fight the greed of the super rich.

But what really bothers me about that very greed is that it won't even serve those few who are so bent on taking what little money the rest of us possess that they can have it all is what they can't see. Their blindness just amazes me.

The other doc I'd watched -- though I just couldn't watch it to the end -- was yet another doc on just how wrong Wal-Mart is. If you aren't aware of how very shady this corporation is, it's time you climbed out from under your rock. While there was no mention of how much Wal-mart spends on shipping, marketing & stocking, the doc did point out that at a garment which costs approximately $16.00 was made by a Chinese worker paid only $3.00 for a day's work -- that's with mandatory over-time.

In addition, that very worker has to pay rent & utilities -- utilities priced by usage -- for a dorm room. Sure, they are certainly allowed to go out & find an apartment of their own, if they can afford it. Yet, they must still pay rent for a dorm room they're not living in.

Blame that on the company employing these workers -- a company which only manufactures products for Wal-Mart. But Wal-Mart isn't directly responsible for this. Certainly not.

Of course, Wal-Mart also requires their store employees to work over-time. Yet corporate policy is that there will be no over-time for any employee. Because these employees are in no position to complain, they are forced to work those hours without pay.

Oh, of course, they could quit. But we all know that there are few jobs.

Apparently, if your skin color is other than white, you can forget about getting promoted, or even getting the kind of raise white employees get.

If these weren't bad enough, there's the question of health insurance. I've been in the same situation in jobs I've had, so I can easily relate to the Wal-Mart employee's plight. Naturally, Federal law requires employers to provide health insurance to any employee working a certain number of hours, but there is nothing in that law requiring that the individual plan's deductible be affordable to the employee. Hence, Wal-Mart employees, generally, cannot afford to see a medical professional when needed.

Where do these Wal-Mart employees turn when they or their child is ill? Well, as Wal-Mart managers are quick to point out to these employees, there are numerous programs available to them from the state in which they live.

So, Wal-Mart -- as well as most any other large corporations -- is, obviously, abusing the system, making six very wealthy individuals even more wealthy.

That's right. Six. These are heirs to the Walton brothers vision. Take particular note of the "Walton's family fortune" listed a bit more than half way down the page.

And we must know what effect the opening of a Wal-Mart store in a town has upon local business. Really. It's not pretty.

Speaking of which, can you imagine? Right here in Reno, Nv -- not to mention the two in Sparks, Nv -- there are six Wal-Mart stores, with a seventh under construction. Reno isn't that big a city, & we have six Wal-Mart stores.

Sounds less like business & more like rape to me.

Now, what ever will the super rich do when they've taken all our money from us? Who will they turn to in those days? How will they satisfy their lust for more? Well, they'll have to turn on each other, naturally. And if there emerges a single family or individual who has all the money there is to have, what then?

What then?

Art Kills

I think I was very lucky to have been raised by my mother. She tolerated each of her children's artistic fumblings from my eldest sister's dragging every pot from the kitchen cabinet to bash against them with wooden spoons, through two more sisters & a brother, to my painting surreal scenes, reciting shallow poetry, banging on my guitar &, seriously, not singing, as well as my piss-poor fiction & non-fiction. The woman is clearly destine for sainthood.

And anyone with any artistic ability doesn't stand out simply because we possess some level of talent. We stand out because we are different. Most people in society are one way, & we are another. Sometimes we can fit in, to one degree or another, but we do not act, think or feel like the rest of you. We live, generally, in an alien world. Whatever causes artistic ability, whatever alien influence enters our consciousness, takes us from a very early age -- perhaps at conception. We are different.

So, since I was young, I have marveled over the lives of well known artists. I didn't find their antics odd. I didn't question what they did to get their messages across. They always seemed perfectly reasonable even when they were caught committing some seemingly self-destructive act in a night club & were subsequently arrested.

What I questioned was the reactions of others. Why are artists often arrested, detained for mental observation, or simply criticized by those who don't get it? I've heard so much criticism of artists over the years that it's a wonder every artist in modern society hasn't been rounded up & pumped full of countless pharmaceuticals to make them conform to society's ideals.

And that's it. Conformity. Non-artists want to enjoy the products of art, but know nothing about that alien quality possessing artists & feel threatened when an artists acts out. Say the word fuck one too many times in polite society & get a shot. Get pissed off that your instructions for the display of your work are completely ignored & get a shot. Criticize the US Government &...well, if I start naming names, none of you should be surprised that I just disappear & live out my life in some FEMA la-la land.

What those without talent don't understand is that we artists don't pursue art necessarily because we want to. Sure, we often enjoy the process as well as the product. But it is more a matter of possession. We are, normally, removed from ourselves. Art, in a sense, produces itself through us.

All right. This may not be entirely true, but it's not far off the mark. I am known to edit as I work. When I've painted, I've gone over areas with another color than I had originally; when I wrote poetry & music, I had cut bits here added more there -- & I do this with my blahgs. But most every artist will insist that their work will take them away. When we are working at our best, we are oblivious to everything -- the work just flows.

Yet non-artists are unaware of this. Artists aren't necessarily ever lucid in the way society would have us. It's as if we are in a Samadhic or Alpha state most of the time. Sometimes we are so intent of our work, we achieve a very powerful state akin to that of enlightenment. Other times we are so completely distracted from our natural state, we become jolted out of our bliss by society, that we act in a way most people can't fathom. We act out.

Lenny Bruce was destroyed by society's attempts to force him to conform; rock stars & actors go to rehab; Rocky Erickson withdrew -- only time will tell if his brother's insistence on Rocky's being balanced by pharmaceuticals, if his willingness to play music again, will result in a happy Rocky.

Conformity will ruin art.

So, if society wants to continue to enjoy art, then society must stop expecting artists to be like them. Can artists ever expect to be accepted?

We are writing our own death warrants. Society will never understand or accept.

Obviously, art kills.

Constitution? What's That?

I find it fascinating how very much things can change. Take for instance education. When I was growing up, there was a great deal of emphasis on studying the US Constitution &, naturally, the Bill of Rights. Apart from the fact that the USA Patriot Act -- which our president Obama had promised to dismantle, yet has taken steps to strengthen -- is in direct opposition to both the aforementioned areas of study ground into most American students at least as long as I was in school.  Our politicians continually violate the one supreme legal document which our Supreme Court was created to interpret.

Back in 1989 I was rather consumed with the ubiquitous news reports concerning the Polish Solidarity movement's Round Table Talks. I knew that the Soviets were at the end of their run -- they couldn't afford all the satellite countries they'd occupied, they couldn't afford to pay their soldiers. So, I also knew that because Soviet control was falling apart -- the people having had enough -- that it would not be long before the only territory the Soviets had any control over would be Red Square, where the famed Kremlin stands.

No one wanted to believe my claims -- even Condoleezza Rice -- so called expert on the Soviet Union -- was stupid enough to go on record stating something to the effect that there will always be a Soviet Union. Naturally, I cannot find this quote.  We can't have the blunders of experts available on the Web, can we?

It didn't surprise me that the Poles I knew, who had lived most or all their lives under Soviet suppression, couldn't conceive of free Poland.  Of course, the freedom Poland knows now with American partnership (the term "partnership" is very questionable) & EU membership doesn't seem to have brought the promised prosperity to individuals, but rather to their own government.  But I've yet to visit Poland & can only go by what I read & hear from the few Poles who discuss such.

In that same year -- 1989 -- there was another small news story.  One that didn't only make me laugh, but brought a level of anger to me.  I admit that I wasn't paying any great attention to the US Constitution all those years ago in school, but because it was ground into me, I retain a certain intuitive knowledge of points in it.  It's no wonder I questioned this news story.

In 1989, President Ronald Reagan received an honorary British knighthood, the Knight Grand Cross of the Order of the Bath.  Sure, it's called honorary, but I can only suspect that this is applied as an afterthought.  Have a look at the US Constitution.  Such is illegal under the very document every president swears "...To the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."

Interesting.  To be president of the United States, one must take this oath that George W Bush had said in a press conference of the US Constitution is "...just a piece of paper".  I'd love to provide a link to the YouTube video which had this statement in it, but it appears to have been removed from YouTube.  Not to worry, though.  You can find a link to it in another of my fairly recent blahg entries.  Besides, there are plenty of Gazoogle entries related to it.

Then, in 1993, "Daddy" Bush had received the very same honorary knighthood.  But I sincerely doubt that anyone is oblivious to where GHW Bush places his loyalty.

But things just grow more murky.  As I'd mentioned, our current figure head, President Obama, had promised while running for the presidency, that he would dismantle the USA Patriot Act.  He hasn't. What's more, he's even, this year, decided to give it another year.  Sad for those of us who live in the US, but if you weren't sickened by that, have a look at this:

Obama now heads the UN Security Council.

If it weren't a violation for Reagan & Bush Sr to give allegiance to the British Crown, how is any more a violation for a sitting US president to take control of a foreign (technically speaking) political body?

Now, I'm not exactly what one would call a Constitutionalist -- hell, I'm only an American by an accident of birth.  I value my liberty above most anything you can name, but I've never felt patriotic toward the so called American way of life.  I've actually been seeking a legal & honorable means of obtaining citizenship, & gainful employment, in any number of other countries since I was an early teen.  You can say I really don't give a damn about the future of the US, & you wouldn't be entirely wrong to do so.

But when a government so flagrantly disregard the very people who they're supposed to be working for, as opposed to those who value money & power over all else, & continually lie about their actions, I grow continually more pissed off.

So should all of you.

Come On, Now

The other day I'd found myself in a conversation concerning experts. Those who know me are well aware of my lack of respect for so called authority. This isn't from any foundation of ignorance. It's from both experience & study. Really, I've cracked a few books, in my time, on any number of subjects.

Like a growing percentage of people all over the world, I was born with a genetic disease.

Horror!

In my case, it's more an annoyance than it is debilitating. Don't ask me the name of this disease, the doctor -- another expert -- apart from his egotistic explanation, had told me that the damage caused by this disease was so advanced that it was a miracle I could even walk. He'd even gone on to inform me that in the not too distant future, I would be faced with complete joint replacement surgery or to live out my life in a wheel chair.

This was nearly thirty years ago, & I'm still ambulatory.

Sure, I have to refrain from running; I probably shouldn't go hiking; I have to stay away from too many flights of steps, & I have to stop every half mile to a mile because now one of my hip joints experiences trouble, & the pain can be a problem. Not really a problem for me, though.  This is a good excuse to sit down & have a smoke. I expect I'll have another thirty to fifty years during which I'll still be walking -- just a little more slowly.

Growing up -- & still, on occasion -- I'd experienced periods of rather painful, ugly eruptions of eczema. For those who don't know, this is a skin disorder, which -- for me -- is related to my joint trouble. In any case, I'd gone to doctor after doctor. Each one knew the cause. Of course, each previous doctor was wrong in their prognosis, but the new ones had to be right. The hell they'd put me through was worse than the pain I've experienced due to the connective tissue in my joints deteriorating -- leaving the nerves not just intact, but exposed. That's where the pain comes from.

Anyway, while my mother was at pains to not contradict the prevailing beliefs of the day, to just take what some authority said as the truth -- even if another authority was wrong, I was much more attracted to the idea of questioning authority. Come on, even a kid can be smart enough to recognize contradiction.

I wonder what I would have become had either of my parents ever said to me the words, "Do as I say, not as I do."

So, the other day, I'm in conversation with my cousin on the subject of studies. You know, "Studies show..." this, or "Studies prove..." that. Experts again. Experts want us to believe all sorts of things which often later prove false. I think I'd mentioned the fallacy of the great cholesterol studies which nearly succeeded in destroying the egg industry in the US. Turned out that a new study found that there are two -- count 'em -- two kinds of cholesterol & eggs are A-OK.

What should be bothering you isn't just the fact that we have to question the agenda of those performing the study, or even the agenda of those funding the study, but that no one takes any responsibility. How many workers lost their jobs &, subsequently, how many children went hungry because the original study claimed that eggs were evil? How many businesses had either gone out of business or had to scramble to reposition themselves to remain in business?

Did those who'd performed the first study apologize? No. Did those who learned that eggs were not the problem point out that sometimes experts are wrong? Of course not. Why? Money. People would be sued if anyone were to take any responsibility. We can't have that. The rich must remain the rich.

Now, I watch a lot of documentaries. Granted, a good number of them are composed of subjects either the government or corporations or just the super rich spend a great deal of money to discredit. And a number of docs are really not very authoritative.

I can usually see past the misinformation, or the "holes" in their reporting.

This isn't exactly what I'm writing about today, though. What has come to my attention is something missing. This something missing is an incredibly important part of a puzzle, but no one really wants to talk about it. It's been touched upon by a few docs I've seen -- normally by way of an economist or historian clouding it in the complicated language of either finance or maritime law -- but no one wants to really explain it.

It all has to do with the immense shroud surrounding the Federal Reserve System. I've already discussed, elsewhere, that this is a sham perpetrated upon us -- the middle classes & the poor. I've even mentioned the body responsible for collecting the money to pay the super rich (look for where I mention the Queen of England) the interest on funds they'd never even granted our government as loans.

OK. So, even I have written round the whole thing without stating it all clearly. Well, I'm no expert. How am I to suggest authority on the subject? Besides, it really is immense & seemingly convoluted.

Here I was, wondering why only some of the pieces of the puzzle are explained in detail, while a few are either obscured, or neglected entirely? After all, if I can figure all this out with what info is out there, anyone can.

Clearly, the reason for it is in the power of those who hold the strings. I've been bitching about corporations, governments & politicians for years, but I see it, now. As I'd recently written, politicians -- & the US Government -- are pawns. That's right. Yes, politicians are corrupt -- & our esteemed Supreme Court has now lit the passages of this corruption by making it legal for our politicians to be paid directly by corporations.

Wouldn't it be lovely to see this sponsorship displayed as it is in sports? Most people think nothing of advertising some idiot corporation's logo on their clothing without payment. Why shouldn't our politicians now wear on their suits the logos of their corporate sponsorship?

Of course, this won't happen because they want to appear to be their own person -- not the stooge of the corporations who have bought & sold our politicians for generations.

And you -- or I, anyway -- have to wonder why I can't fly in the US without being given a ticket which indicates that I have to go through a more thorough security inspection than other passengers. I don't have the slightest interest in misogynist religious beliefs, I don't hang out with political activists, I don't even subscribe to questionable political publications.

I'm just a loud-mouthed writer & artist trying to figure out who's responsible.

Uh-oh! I publish what might lead to sedition. Oooh! But I'm only watched. I'm not a threat. Why? Because so few even read my stuff! Woe is me should I ever attain any level of notoriety -- fame is very unlikely. I sometimes wish I would attain such, if only to gain respect among the foreigners among whom I one day hope to live.

What's my point? Connect the dots, folks. Don't leave me alone out here.